He is afraid to be seen with me

Dear Pastor,

If a man has to hide to go to a woman's yard, isn't something wrong? I am in a relationship and this man is well-known. He says that he loves me. He is living alone and I am also living alone. I do not have any children and I am not seeing anybody except this man. But, whenever he is coming to see me, he takes a taxi. He does not drive his car. And, he comes late in the night. He would call me during the day and say he is coming, but he does not know what time, and regardless how much I call him, I can't get him.

He said he doesn't have any other woman, but he has to do everything undercover. He does not sleep at my house, and he does not give me anything. Whenever he is coming, he wants me to leave food for him. I am a teacher, and sometimes I am very tired, so I don't cook. I told him whenever he is coming, he should buy food, not only for himself, but also for me. He has only done so twice. I am tired of this foolishness. I have never met anybody from his family.

I asked him where he would be for Christmas and he said he is going to be with his grandmother who raised him. I told him I would like to meet his grandmother, but he said not as yet. I'm tired of him.

Do you think I should continue the relationship with this man? I am 27 and he is 31 years old.

B.M.

Dear B.M.,

Any man who behaves like this man has something to hide. Don't allow this man to continue to fool you. He is either married and living with his wife and children, but using you as his side chick.

He has a reason for hiding when he is coming to see you and for not driving his car. You can't push him to tell you why he does not want to be seen when he is visiting you. But you have the power to tell him to get lost. He might be standing in the way of another man who has been admiring you and would want to have a good and lasting relationship with you.

This is Christmas and you have the right to know where he would be, and if he is indeed going to see his grandmother. He should take you and introduce you to her if you mean anything to him. So, my suggestion is, end the relationship with this man, and do so right away.

Pastor