I have nowhere to put my pregnant girlfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old. I am living with my stepfather, two brothers and my mother. My stepfather is not nice to us.

He tells us every day that we should get out of his house because we are old enough to go on our own. He said that when he was 15, his father put him out and he had to sleep at bus stops or stay at various places. He was cleaning cars at traffic stops until a man offered him a room at his house to stay and to take care of his lawn. Sometimes when I hear that man talk to my mother, I feel that if he becomes ill, I would never even look at him because he is a very wicked man. One day, my stepfather and I almost knocked fists because he attempted to hit my mother and I told him that if he does that, I will chop him up and the police won't find his body. So he backed off.

I have a girlfriend, but we are not ready to live together. She is 20. My brother is 17 years old; we are at the house to protect our mother. My brother is very quiet. He doesn't argue with my stepfather, but I do. I don't know what to do, because my girlfriend has advised me that she is pregnant. I always buy protection and ask her to keep them for me, so I don't know how she was careless to become pregnant. I do not know what to do because my girlfriend is from a poor family and we are not ready for a child.

I told my mother that my girlfriend is 'expecting' and she said all I have to do is to find a place to put the girl. I told my mother that I am not leaving her here with my stepfather. We do not want him to know that my girlfriend is pregnant. This problem is heavy on my mind. Every second word that comes out of my stepfather's mouth is an expletive.

My mother told me that if I find a room and put my girlfriend to live there, I don't have to live with her. What do you think about that? Do you think it is a good idea? Please give me your opinion.

D.

Dear D.,

The suggestion your mother made about what steps you should take in assisting your girlfriend is worthy of consideration.

She is not telling you to go and live in concubinage, but she knows that you have an obligation to your girlfriend. Finding a good place for your girlfriend to live would be costly, but it is better to do so than to have her struggle alone with the pregnancy. You are 19 years old; you are not fully ready to take on the awesome responsibility of fatherhood. Your girlfriend and you were careless, therefore you will have to stand the cost, whatever that may be.

Try to keep out of trouble with your stepfather. As long as you are in his house, be respectful; and please do not threaten him in any way. I wish you well.

Pastor