Christian husband beats me for sex

Dear Pastor,

I am a 35-year-old woman and I am writing to you because I am confused. I have one daughter.

I got pregnant with her when I was 19. This was by a man who came to Jamaica to attend a convention of our church. From the time he saw me, he had eyes on me. By the time the convention was finished, we were in bed together at the hotel he was staying.

My father warned me about him, but this man offered to help me and I believed every word he said. He got me pregnant and left. When he was informed by my father that I was pregnant, he told my father that he was not responsible for my pregnancy. I had to admit to my father that I was not a virgin, but the only person who had sex with me was this man. Then he changed his number, so I could not communicate with him. He stopped attending the church in America. We found out that he had a girlfriend over there.

My father and friends helped me with my daughter, and now she is doing well in every way. But what I am trying to say is that some of these people who call themselves preachers are very wicked. I did not learn my lesson. I got involved with another man. The people in the church call him bishop, but he is a very cruel man. He helps me to take care of my daughter. But he likes to hit, and I told him he should not hit my daughter. But he said that as long as she is in his house, he would have to beat her, and I could get the hell out of his house if I don't want it that way. He always wants sex, and whenever I tell him that I am tired, he says that I must be giving away what I should keep for him. None of that is true.

This man has fought me for sex many times, and he is well known for speaking in tongues, even when he is on me. I have never spoken in tongues, so the people in the church say that I am not truly a Christian. But I would rather not be a Christian than to continue to play the hypocrite with a man who is beating me up for sex even when I am tired.

I want to leave this man, but I don't want to leave my daughter at the house with him. I am afraid he would rape her. Can you give me your advice?

A.F.

Dear A.F.,

I would suggest that you find a place for your daughter to live. Your husband is out of order.

I am not here to condemn anybody's religion, but this man should not be beating your daughter. How could he expect you to respond to him every time he wants to have sex with you? This man has no common sense at all. He is not a practical man

Your letter reminds me of a wedding I officiated at the First Baptist Church. The groom was a Pentecostal type of man and the bride attended that type of church. When the procession started, the bride got into spirit. I must confess that I could not contain myself for a while. A wedding is a joyous occasion, but these people were carrying on as if they were wild. It was totally out of place, the way they were carrying on. Sometime later, I found out that this Pentecostal leader used to beat his wife. He, too, was very cruel. The marriage did not last long.

I am not here to tell you to leave your husband, but what I am trying to say is that this marriage will fail if your husband continues to act like a fool. So be wise in everything you do, and in all the plans you make.

Pastor