Tired of my lazy girlfriend

January 27, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem with my girlfriend; she is very lazy and nasty. She does not like to clean and wash.

She works four days a week and she wants me to hire somebody to wash and clean. I told her she has enough time to do housework.

I am a tradesman and I have a boss. I should leave work at 5 p.m., but I am not able to do so every day.

I get home late sometimes and the kitchen will have all the dishes and plates that were used the day before, while my girlfriend will be watching television.

I get very upset sometimes and I am tempted to hit her. I know that I could get myself in trouble, so to avoid confrontation, sometimes I wash the dishes.

The only time I can look forward to food are the days when she is not working. I have to get up every morning and make my own breakfast to go to work.

Sometimes I don't feel like going home in the evenings. This woman is driving me into the arms of another woman, who is a customer at the place where I work; she is 11 years older than me.

One day we were talking and she asked me why my belly was so big. I told her it was the fast food I was eating.

She told me she could help me to reduce my stomach, and we became friends. She invited me to her house and offered me a juice that she made; it was delicious.

Pastor, it is hard for me to keep away from this woman. She gave me a bottle of a special drink she made and I took it home and my girlfriend asked me where I got it from.

I told her that a customer gave it to me. She started to quarrel. I had some of the drink, but she poured the rest of it in the kitchen sink.

Sometimes I don't even want to have anything to do with her in bed because my mind is on the other woman.

This woman is calling me and encouraging me to leave my girlfriend. I don't know what to do because my girlfriend is now three months pregnant. So I have to support this child, but it is a big mistake.

The other woman is now telling me that she loves me. She has one son and she owns her own house and is very responsible.

My birthday was in November. She bought me a new shirt and I took it to my mother's house and left it there, because if I had taken it home, my girlfriend would have burnt it.

I have never had sex with this woman. I have not told her that my girlfriend is pregnant but I plan to do so. I don't see any future with my girlfriend.

I am not happy, but this is not the way I wanted to live. I am 30 and my girlfriend is 27. Please give me your advice.


Dear F.M.,

It seems to me that your girlfriend is taking you for granted. Perhaps she is too comfortable. She knows that you're a good man and that you are taking care of her, but what she needs is to realise is that most men love a woman who keeps her house tidy and will do her best to take care of her man.

I don't mean that a man should not do house chores, but it seems to me that your woman has lots of time on her hands, so she should do much better.

Both of you should go and see a family counsellor. If your woman would listen and reason out matters with you, there would be no good reason to see a counsellor.

But the way she is behaving, and how you are reacting, may cause both of you to get into fights, so you need to talk to a professional.

Concerning this other woman who is showing interest in you. You would have to admit that you are showing interest in her, too.

Perhaps you have told her about your sit uation at home and she sees you as a good man.

I believe that you should try to do everything in your power to make the relationship with your girlfriend work. Keep this customer as a good friend, but work on your relationship at home.

If your girlfriend does not want to go for counselling, don't give up on her. Tell her why she should agree to go; otherwise the both of you will have to separate, which you do not necessarily want to do.


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