Boyfriend’s family doesn’t like me

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 and I have a boyfriend who is 33. We do not have children together, but he has two.

He broke up with his children's mother. She told people that I was the cause of the break-up, but it is not true. She never used to take care of this man.

We have been in a relationship for five years. She didn't take care of the children, and she kept the place untidy.

He was giving her money, and every week she would take some of it to gamble and say she was hoping to hit the jackpot.

They finally had a fight over something she did. She left the children and went out and asked the neighbour to watch them.

My boyfriend was very displeased about that. She couldn't give him any good reason for leaving them with the neighbour.

He said that when he spoke to her, she dared him to hit her. He was tempted to do it but controlled himself.

That very night, he told her that he believed that she was cheating on him, and she admitted that she had.

He and I were just getting to know each other. So, I told him that she must have been joking. But from that time, he did not trust her again.

He and I started a relationship. The thing is, his people don't like me. They say I behave like a big shot. The children's mother used to tell them everything.

This man gives me money and I only use some of it to buy him groceries and I save the rest. I am working.

He wants me to get pregnant, but I am not interested in getting pregnant until I am married. His mother called me a mule, and for that reason I don't like her.

In fact, I don't like anybody in his family. The more I get to know them is the more I don't want to be in that family. So I am asking you please to give me your advice.

I used to have a boyfriend and he went away, but he called me recently and told me he was coming home in January and he wanted us to link up. I don't know if I should meet him. Please give me your advice.

R.H

Dear R.H.,

Concerning the relationship your boyfriend had with his babymother, if you know that you had nothing to do with their break-up, you should just brush that off and move on.

It is very hard, however, to be with a man and not like his parents or siblings. You are going to always have dealings with them as long as the two of you are having an intimate relationship.

Perhaps they like this man's babymother not just because she used to give them 'news' about your boyfriend, but because they don't believe that he should have left her, considering they have children together.

You believe that you have been able to help this man since you have been together. But now, your old boyfriend is in the picture.

He told you that he wanted both of you to meet when he comes back to Jamaica. The decision is really up to you.

Ask yourself, which one of these men do I love more? If you convince yourself that you love this man with his children, you will have your answer.

But, if you are not happy with him, I will say, go for your old boyfriend because the prospects might be better for you, considering he lives overseas.

Let me hear about your decision after the holidays.

Pastor