Gave up the goodies on the first date

Dear Pastor,

First of all, I must say that I am 26 years old and I want to find out from you if I have made myself a slut. I did not know that it was possible for me to give myself to a man on my first date.

You see, pastor, I did not know this man well, but I knew his family. They are very up-to-date people.

This man is living in Canada and was here visiting. I have known him for a long time. We went out for drinks and then he invited me up to his hotel room.

I should have known that I should not go, but I went. He was such a charmer. He did not force me into anything.

Looking back now, I would say the way I behaved, both of us wanted each other. Perhaps I wanted him more than he wanted me. When he held me, I asked him if he didn't have a woman. He said yes, but he didn't stop playing with my breasts. I was thrilled. He was removing my clothes at the same time and I lost control of myself. And that was the first time we had gone out.

Do you think this man would still respect me after giving him my body the very first time we went out? He left for Canada the following day.

When he called me on the phone from there, I asked him about his woman and he said, "Let's not talk about her, let's talk about us." I am confused and I don't know what to think.

E.C.

Dear E.C.,

I know for sure that what happened between this man and you, you can never change. So you need not fret about it, it's already gone.

You describe this man as a charmer, and I suppose when both of you were hugging each other, in the heat of things, you were so glad to be with him.

So although he told you that he had a woman, it did not even register. You were caught up with the moment.

The question is, how are you going to handle this relationship? Is this man going to give up his woman for you? I doubt it.

What he is most likely to do is to come back to Jamaica to see you, because he believes that he will get more of you when he comes.

Does this man have children? Or did you forget to ask him? Please remember you are not a giddy-headed teenager.

You are a grown woman. You will soon be 30. Act like an intelligent woman and stop playing around.

I further suggest that you tell this man that what happened with both of you was a mistake and you wouldn't want to repeat the same mistake.

Pastor